Very Funny Guys... You Can Stop Now!

Published on 23 March 2021 at 17:59


With the brutal murder of Sara Everard, came yet another cry against the white man. The murder of this innocent women led to other women across the country to think on a time when they have been sexually assaulted or harassed by a man themselves. A survey from UN Women Uk , found that 97% of UK women have been victims sexual harassment, which is about as surprising as beans on toast. The vigil held in honour of Sara Everard, and in spite of the patriarchy, called for better protection of women; defunding of the police; an end to racism, rape and murder. The Metropolitan police became rather angry at the protestors and decided to enforce COVID laws, making multiple arrests. Women clearly do not much like being grabbed, whilst protesting abuse against women. Now met has pissed of the Women, big time. Mass media and social media is in flames of rage; calling for the destruction of the police, in the name of female safety.

The stance from the government has mostly been to slander the Met’s tyrannical acts at the vigil, with Boris Johnson claiming the footage of the police was “disturbing.” The Government has also decided that they will pass a new bill to make sure this never happens again- a protest that is. Because the police, crime, sentencing and courts bill proposes new restrictions against protests. Basically, it will allow police chiefs to control protests by:

  • Imposing a pre-arranged start and finish time to all protests.
  • Set noise limits.
  • Deem any protest seem as an “annoyance” as illegal.
  • These rules can be put on the group or an individual
  • Individuals can be fined up to £2,500 for breaking these new rules on protesting

Amongst many other things, the 300-page bill will ensure that almost any protest can be legally suppressed and dealt with when the police deem fit. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH… oh you’re not joking, are you Mr Government? These jokers are really trying to create a police state, by making any protests that state funded officers deem as annoying, illegal. Music too loud? Illegal. Chanting? Illegal. Smacking your damn lips whilst eating an orange? That’s illegal and will earn you a £2,500 fine. Annoyance is literally subjective. What if a fashion aware police chief deems your double denim as offensive to his eyes? Could he deem that as an annoyance? Well, legally he could. The problem with this new bill isn’t what it does say, but it’s what it doesn’t say that makes it dangerous. The government being deliberately vague, allows the police to decide what protest is and isn’t allowed. And I suspect it’s no coincidence that this bill appears at a time when the people are becoming angry at the government enforced lockdowns and restrictions. On Saturday the 20th of march, thousands took to the streets of London to protest government lockdown restrictions. Protesting palm oil usage in cheese strings? Meh, we kind of like the orangutans, go ahead. What’s that? You want to meet with your friends, on the privacy of your own land? And don’t tell me you want to protest for this too? How bloody annoying! ILLEGAL! Swarms of stab proof vests and black hats can overwhelm and disperse any protest with the coronavirus act anyway. Can’t you understand that they just want to help protect YOU?! The government wants to help you, and now there’s nothing you can do to stop them. The government undoubtably love the Corona virus act and wants to make sure everything can be as illegal as possible, for as long as possible. The new crime bill will certainly help to take care of those pesky protests.    

Fortunately, the police have greatly agitated women, so the police state is currently under the watch of the powerful Karens, who decide the narrative of the media. This means that the labour party will likely prevent this tory backed bill from passing through parliament…For now. The contentious acts will inevitably be renamed, reimagined and disguised, only for them to be passed along with another million-page act anyway.

Women, can we please stop calling cartoons fascists, and focus on the very real threat of a police state? We need you, because they ain’t joking and they ain’t gonna stop either.  


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